Relentless by Tim Grover
You don’t have to love the hard work, you just have to love the result. The only difference between feedback and criticism is the way it is perceived.
To be truly successful in life, you need to stop waiting on being told what to do and how to do it. If you can’t see your goal and how to get there, how can anyone else? All you need is a relentless drive for the end result. Don’t let anything stand in your way.
Being unstoppable means never being okay with “good enough.” It means engineering your life to make sure you get what you want, and then continuing to work hard to get what’s next.
Everything you need is already inside you. Don’t place any limits on yourself and don’t listen to the limitations others try to enforce upon you. Let your results speak for themselves.
Being relentless means not just getting from good to great, but continuing the fight to becoming unstoppable. Being relentless means being a cleaner. A cleaner never stops pushing higher and higher.
The philosophy of a cleaner can be summed up in three words: “I own this.”
Cleaners are self made and are never in it for the money. They take complete control of the situation and don’t try to blame others when things go wrong. The defining trait of a cleaner is his addiction to the feeling of success. Cleaners are never content.
You can’t be relentless in everything. Being a cleaner in business or as a parent requires sacrifices and trade-offs in other areas of your life. The only thing a cleaner cares about is the end result. Not the instant gratification felt along the way.
There are three types of people in any given group: coolers, closers, and cleaners. A cooler is popular because they are careful and rarely takes sides. They can handle a certain amount of pressure, but need someone to step in when things get too intense. A closer can perform at a very high-level, but prefers glory and recognition to success, and needs to be told what to do. Coolers are good, closers are great, and cleaners are unstoppable.
The 13 treats qualities of a cleaner:
– When everyone else has had enough, you keep pushing yourself harder
– You shut everything else out and control the uncontrollable
– You understand who you are
– You have a dark side that refuses to be good
– You thrive under pressure
– When everyone is looking for the panic button, they come looking for you
– You don’t compete with anyone. You find your opponent’s weakness and attack.
– You make decisions, not suggestions
– You don’t necessarily love the work, but you are addicted to the results
– You would rather be feared than liked
– You trust very few people, and you expect a lot from those people
– You never accept failure
– You don’t celebrate victory because you always want more
Do the Work
Every day, challenge yourself by doing something uncomfortable. Cleaners do the hardest thing first. There are no shortcuts. Invest in your life. There is no point in having wealth if your body is too unhealthy to reap the full rewards. A cleaner has no “off” switch—they are always on.
It All Starts Above the Shoulders
In every pursuit in life, mental conditioning is the key to improvement and success. Your body will follow once your mind is strong. Your level of mental focus and concentration will define your ability to succeed in life. The cleaner is always in charge of his feelings. He never shows emotion unless that’s what is required to spur others into action.
Get in “The Zone”
When you’re in “the zone,” you don’t have to think to perform. You’re calm and collected, and focused on your goal. Emotions make you weak. The only exception is controlled anger, which can be channeled into constructive energy. It’s okay to feel nerves or anxiety, but a cleaner can control those emotions.
Relentless by Instinct
We are born relentless, and only taught to relent later. Early in life, our natural drive and instinct is suppressed to fit societal norms. Like a lion in a cage, we lose our ambition in exchange for comfort and fitting in. That inner fire is still inside of you, and you need to tap into it to become elite at what you do.
You don’t need a book to tell you what you already know about how to get better. The best form of self betterment is instinct. That’s the difference between a closer and a cleaner. The closer knows what to do, a cleaner feels it.
The Dark Side
Every cleaner has a dark side. The dark side is what drives the insatiable thirst for success. To be able to use it effectively, you must learn to control it before it controls you. A real cleaner does not give a damn about what other people think about them or their dark side.
A cleaner doesn’t respond to external stimuli. They don’t care about what other people think and don’t let the pressure get to them. A closer, on the other hand, feels the need to justify themselves and can’t handle the pressure like a cleaner can.
“Pressure can burst pipes, but it can also make diamonds.”
Start thinking of stress as a good thing. Stress gets you out of your comfort zone, and pushes you to get better and better.
Confident vs. Cocky
There’s a difference between confidence and cockiness. Confidence means believing in your abilities, yet having the wherewithal to know when things aren’t working out and making the appropriate changes. People who are cocky are unable to admit that they are wrong, and as a result, are unable to adjust and adapt.
The quickest way to alleviate pressure is to accept responsibility for it. Always own up to your decisions, good or bad.
If you are a cleaner, be a leader. Focus on people’s strengths and build them up, instead of their weaknesses. Watch for people’s reaction to criticism. Do whatever it takes to ensure that your building people up and not the opposite. Help people get up to your level.
If you’re managing or coaching a cleaner, let the cleaner retain some amount of control. Find out their strengths and put them where they need to be. Set the example yourself to bring people up to your level.
Forget Inner Drive–Do the Work
Inner drive is worthless until it manifests itself into real action. You have to act to succeed at anything. Don’t follow your passion, work at it. Trust yourself. Make a decision and act on it. Trust your preparation and your instincts.
Figure out what you do and become great at it by working really hard. Don’t try to be good at everything. Do the work. Don’t quit just because it gets hard.
What Are You Willing to Sacrifice?
Ask yourself what it’s going to take for you to get what you want out of life. Then ask yourself what you are willing to sacrifice to get it. If those two lists don’t match up, then you don’t want it badly enough. If you’re okay with being “okay,” that’s fine. But if you want more in your life, you have to be willing to sacrifice work harder than everyone else.
Don’t Chase Dollar Signs
Don’t do anything just for the money. Money will make you soft and complacent. Seek out opportunities to make yourself better in whatever you do. Someday the money will run out, and somebody else will always be making more than you. Look beyond the dollar signs and ask yourself what you’re doing to get better. Your goal should be to leave behind a legacy that lasts.
Don’t worry about fitting in, and don’t be afraid to be feared rather than liked. There is no passion or fire in being thought of as “nice.” Cleaners don’t feel the need to fit in. They would rather be feared than liked or respected. A cleaner lets his actions speak for him, and gets respect as a result. Focus on results and let those results do the talking for you.
- Be open to advice that goes against what you want or what you “know” to be true.
- Success isn’t about money. Success is about doing something that nobody else can do.
- Being a kid is overrated. You only have a short window to be a legend, but you have the rest of your life to act like a kid.
- Be honest with yourself, and your own harshest critic. Strive to be better than everyone else at that one thing that you do so well. Figure out what your dream is, and chase it relentlessly until you achieve it.